Gosh—I need to get better at using alliteration. Point is, Thursdays suck. I have class straight from 8 to 2, which is only made worse by the fact that 3 hours of that class time is spent in biology lab. I. HATE. biology lab. I have no problem with what we’re learning. I just wish my fellow students didn’t have to act like they’re still in high school most of the time. They trash the teacher where she can clearly hear them and complain about bad grades while simultaneously bragging about how they never go to class. And then they go on about the immaturity of high schoolers. Ironic much?
I mean, that’s not really fair. I don’t know all of them, and some of the ones I do know are definitely not deserving of that. I’m not trying to just vent about how awful they are… because I’ve realized this is more than just lab. It’s one thing I really hate about my generation. Society gives us the excuse to never grow up—or at least, not until we’re in our late twenties/early thirties. And even then, it’s just a matter of context. I’ve always loved reading books about life in the 19th and early 20th century, but I never really realized why until recently.
It’s just this: people were expected to be better. Eighteen-year-olds were adults, in every way, shape, and form. There were no exceptions; no excuses for acting like a child anymore. Obviously those times came with a lot of oppression too. But even so, I just can’t help wistfully looking back sometimes, wishing I’d had a chance to grow up then. Because then maybe I would be more challenged to be better.
I think part of what makes me hate being around those kind of people so much is the fear of becoming like them. After all, there is nothing inherently better about me that I should have the ability to mature and grow up where they can’t. It’s just been a matter of the society I grew up in, which was one that not only encouraged but expected me to be better—always. There was no peak that I could climb and finally say “I made it.” It was always just another step on the ladder. And though that sounds exhausting… I think the alternative is much too harmful to excuse with that complaint.
In a country where everyone is constantly bombarded with these messages from every form of media and social institution about how “YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE, so just love yourself and be proud of it”, people simply ignore the possibility that maybe they aren’t who they should be, or could be. I realize how awful that sounds, but I’m not trying to say some people are just born wrong or something. What I’m saying is we aren’t just born at the top of the ladder. Maybe changing isn’t a product of self-loathing; maybe it’s a sign of increasing self-awareness.
I dunno. I still hate Thursdays. But you know what? Writing this post made today a little better.
Color me crazy.